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about
Codex entry: Scientist Salarian, a parody of the Modern Major General song (humans Gilbert and Sullivan, 1879) was written in 2171 by famed Salarian lyricist and part time structural biologist Jokus Kirosa. The song was later featured as part of the 2183 inaugural gala celebrating humanity’s contributions to the galactic artistic community, where it was performed for the council alongside other classics like Francis Kitt’s All-Elcor Hamlet and Leonin Trebin’s musical comedy rendition of “Jaynestown”.
So thrilled to finally bring the full version of this Mass Effect classic to life! When I first played Mass Effect 2 and discovered the dialogue option of Mordin Solus talking about his time singing this Gilbert and Sullivan classic I immediately took to the internet to see if there was a full version of the lyrics in existence. After a little googling I discovered an entry on fanfiction.com by the incredible writer by the user name AssaultSloth of a fantastic expansion of a full set of lyrics and KNEW I had to give musical life to his incredible writing! So for all you fans who intersect the Mass Effect universe and the operettas of the great Gilbert and Sullivan like myself, this one is for you!! Hope you enjoy!
lyrics
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
I've studied species Turian Asari and Batarian
I'm quite good at genetics as a subset of biology
Because I am an expert which I know is a tautology
In four directions cardinal I know the blot routinery
I problem solve with tools and guns and even farm machinery
I perfectly recall your genome purine by pyrimidine
I'll diagnose the cause of every symptom you're exhibiting
My knowledge is prodigious though I'm stuffy and professory
I'm fluent in the Vorcha tongue and Hanar luminescery
My xenoscience studies range from urban to agrarian
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
By breakfast time I'm curing seeker swarm induced paralysis
My ideal date would finish with statistical analysis
I've mastered optic instruments reflective and refractory
I don't begrudge the Quarians their hypochondriactery
I've memorized eidetic all my patients' anamnemesies
I've written papers scores and scores and thats not counting thesises
I'll toxify my enemies with nary an apology
Then spend my weekends brushing up on Elcor enzymology
When I complete a surgery I sign my name in suturing
I've cut up more Batarians than Torfan's famous butchering
If knowledge is a library than I'm it's king librarian
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
When I know all the acids be they levodextrorotamers
When I tell your Asari child her genes are only sort of yours
When I expound the theories that my colleagues find heretical
When I know all the finer points of therapies genetical
When I could cure your cancer with my brain just half way functioning
When i can fix mutating cells the point the nondisjunctioning
In short when I've a smattering of transgenetic strategy
It had to be done rightly and so I'm the one it had to be
My skeptics call me mad and though they always try to censure me
and actuary tables say I'll live just half a century
I've surveyed every habitat from Xeric to Riparian
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
At treating Varren STDs I've singular ability
I don't prescribe black market testicles to fix fertility
I've shifted every paradigm from Surkesh to Novaria
I've studied piscifauna in the field and in aquaria
of Volus pharmaceuticals my memories a catalog
I know of all the Krogan clans from Ravanor to Gatatog
My mastery of Drell anatomy is incomparable
My soil science would suffice to make Tuchanka arable
I know the use of minerals from platinum to iridium
My works more highly cited than a Krogran on Presidium
I lecture for the thrill of it I need no honorariam
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
I am the very model of a scientist Salarian
credits
released July 17, 2023
Lead Vocals - Will Roland
Choir:
Sopranos - Candice Corbin, Carrie Salmon
Altos - Amy Button, Gracie Nash
Tenors - Darrell Hunt, George Slotin
Baritones - Keith White, Charlie Rosen
Winds:
Piccolo - Zac Zinger
Flute - Andrew Gould
Oboe - Steve Lyon
Clarinet - Sam Dillon
Bassoon - John DiSanto
Trumpet 1 - Bryan Davis
Trumpet 2 - Jay Webb
Trumpet 3 - Nick Frenay
Trumpet 4 - Danny Jonokuchi
Trombone 1 - Jimmy O'Connell
Trombone 2 - Javier Nero
Trombone 3 - Mariel Bildsten
Tuba - Reginald Champan III
Piano - Jake Silverman
Drums - Jared Schonig
Strings:
Violins - Lavinia Pavlish, Josh henderson, Tomoko Akaboshi, Maria Im, Meitar Forkosh, Daniel Constant, Frencesca Dardani, Kevin Kuh, Eli Bishop
Violas - Laura Sacks, Tia Allen, Sarah Haines, Midori Witkoski
Celli - Susan Mandel, Sasha Ono, Jessica Wang
Double Bass - Michael Olatuja
Music by Sir Arthur Sullivan
Lyrics by Tyler Larson aka AssaultSloth
Arranged/Produced by - Charlie Rosen
Engineered and Mixed by John Kilgore
Mastered by Alan Silverman at Arf Mastering
"The 8-Bit Big Band" a 30-65 member Jazz/pops orchestra that formed to celebrate and realize some of the best themes from video game music from all consoles and eras arranged in a large ensemble Jazz/Orchestra/Pop/Rock setting!
supported by 15 fans who also own “(I Am the Very Model of a) Scientist Salarian”
One of my absolute favourite albums of all time, incredible interpretation and musicianship throughout. Patrick Bartley's playing on Team Galactic HQ is phenomenal, but the power and energy of the Spear Pillar Suite remains my favourite. Anytime I have to do a long study session, this is my go to album :) greenygrey
A diverse collection culled from the archive of jazz pianist Joe Castro featuring Paul Bley, Leroy Vinnegar, Paul Chambers, and many more. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 9, 2020
